Things That I Enjoy

I have noticed that a fair number of my blogs have a slightly negative ring to them. Some may say that I, perhaps, have a negative view on life. Others may claim that my glass has never been close to half empty. Well, for all of those who look upon me with sadness in their eyes for my sad, sad, state, let me just say that I am actually a relatively happy person (except for when I am not).  I do enjoy things.  I just don't enjoy blathering about them to people who would rather hear me bitch and complain (really, wouldn't you?)

But, I have come realize that I should be doing things more for me.  I should be out there on the front lawn, dancing my white *ss off to Katy Perry.  I shouldn't hide my head in shame, drowning in sorrow, listening to The Cure.  So, that is what I am going to do.  It is a new day!  Let us proceed!

Things that I enjoy:

1. Sex.  Enough on that subject, since my mother reads this blog.  Moving on.

2. Music.  I tend to be on the safe side with music.  I don't do a lot of buying music that I have never heard before, just to try it out.  That is because I am a cheap *ss bastard.  Just ask my wife.  Luckily, one of the benefits of being a Professor (besides being able to profess!) is having graduate students who listen to music that was made after 1983 (read, The Police, Synchronicity).  I now listen to such groups as The Fray and all of that depressing crap.  My daughter loves (LOVES) Katy Perry.  It is literally the only thing on her iPod Touch.  I have to say that the sh*t really make me want to shake some tail when played at higher decibels.  I would like to start listening to the Blues more.  Any recommendations?

3. Playing with technology crap.  I love my new HTC Hero phone (Google Inside!).  I love figuring out how to build robots and program them.  I love coding.  I love teaching my class about balloons and my other class about rockets.  I am an Uber-Geek.

4. I enjoy saying the word "Uber".  I guess this word means "Super" in Latin.  (The internets whispered this in my ear.  If you read it on one site, it must be true.  Uber-Smart.)

5. I love biking.  But it is hard to bike when you are fat and lazy.  My bike is sitting in my office, because I vowed I would take time at lunch to go riding.  That worked for 2 days.  So, if you are keeping score, it is Fat and Lazy 97 days and Biking 2 days.  I seem to be doing almost as well as Michigan's Football team.

6. I love eating.  Hmmm.  This is direct conflict with #5.  No wonder I hate myself.  Too much inner turmoil.  What do I enjoy eating, you ask?  Well, that is a good question.  I am an amazingly picky eater ( I wonder where Crab Girl gets this?), but my list of foods that I will eat is expanding.  Obviously, ice cream is up there at number 1.  Candy bars come in there pretty high too. (Now you are seeing where the fat and lazy come from, eh?)  On the good food side, I like.... uh... ketchup?  Oh, here, I got one - oatmeal!  That has to be good for you, right?  Bananas!  Another one! (Although Crab Mama would like to outlaw Bananas because they have travelled something like 15 times around the globe to reach us and are only a nickel a pound.  Something is not right there, and she doesn't like it.  Besides, any fruit that can NOT be grown locally has got to be evil.)  I could go on all day about food, but, you get the idea.

7. I love making lists.  It makes me feel like I am doing something productive, but really I am not.  Like right now.

8. I like watching movies and TV.  I like watching the first season of a TV show, when you are totally naive about how sh*tty the show really is.  I could name a few shows like this, but I won't embarrass myself by admitting that I watch (as my step-father so aptly put it) crap TV.  With movies, I made the mistake of letting Crab Mama control our Netflix Queue.  We just got Thirty Something Season 1, Disk 3.  Ok, if this isn't crap TV, WTF is?  Come on, can't we at least get some BSG?  But, there really is GOOD TV out there (and I am not talking about educational TV).  For example, 30 Rock has to be one of the funniest shows ever made.  The one where they do a parody of Amadeus is just unbeilable.  Arrested Development is also insanely funny.  

9.  I love traveling.  (That is a lie.  Everyone says that they love traveling, so I put it there just to fit in.)

10.  I like reading to my kids.  I sometimes complain about this vehemently, especially when I am super busy.  But, I really enjoy doing it.

11. Just because I can't end on a sappy note, and #9 didn't really count, I will include another love of mine for your reading pleasure.  I love sleeping.  And, I have to say, I am good at it too.  I spend a good 1/3 of my life sleeping, and I love every single second of it.  I would do it more if it wasn't for work.  And everything on this list.  The only bad thing about sleep now, is that I am getting old, and when I get out of bed, my bones crack.  I get stiff in bed (not that kind stiff, you sick perverts), and can't stay in bed for more than about 8 hours without my back aching.  How sad is that???

So, in summary, I am old, fat, lazy, like to sleep, listen to chick dance music, rot my brain with bad TV, and I am an Uber-Nerd.  It is amazing that #1 is even an option.

It is great to be alive!