Sunday, July 13, 2008

Typical Sunday

Sundays are strange days. Sort of lazy, sort of busy. Many Sundays start out slow, like today. The mini-crabs and I watched Spiderman 3 this morning. I gotta say, the movie sucked. I just kept wondering when it would end. Crab-boy liked it a lot, since he is a superhero fiend. Yesterday, he dressed up as Batman pretty much the who day. He watched most of the movie wearing his Batman cape and sunglasses (don't ask what the sunglasses were for - no idea). Crab-girl didn't really give an opinion. Mrs. Crab was not present. She typically likes to spend Sunday mornings reading or spending a little time on her own.

After the movie, Mrs. Crab went to work for a bit, while I tortured the kids. Discovered a good way to get the kids to clean their room - bribery. $0.50 for a clean room. Not a bad deal. Since it would take me 30 minutes to clean each of their rooms, $0.50 is a steal. Crab-girl organized her PlayMobile, taking about 90 minutes to put it all away. Crab-boy discovered a great way to streamline the process - he put most of the stuff from the floor into the garbage can. When I asked him about it, he said that "Mommy did it, so why can't I?" Needless to say, we had to put that crap away ("Do I still get $0.50???"). While they cleaned their rooms, I vacuumed. We have hard wood floors, so we use a shop-vac for this wonderful task. Did I mention that we have a dog? That sheds? A lot? We also live on a dirt road, with a dirt driveway. So we get a lot of dirt in the house. Dirt and dog fur. Man, I love that crap.

Lunch. Stale bagel with peanut butter. Yum! Stale bagels are a staple in our house. I gotta say, though, that a stale bagel from a real bagel place is better than a store-bought bagel that is pumped full of crap. We used to get those types of bagels all the time. Man, they last forever. Literally. Now it is stale bagel heaven. Alright, not really heaven. Toasting it helps. Microwaving helps.

Crab-girl has serious food issues. For the last few years, it was nothing but three cheese tortellini, chicken nuggets, and hot dog buns (NOT hot dogs!). In the last couple of months, she has broadened her horizons a bit, but it is slow going. So, for her, stale bagel with cheddar cheese is pretty much IT for lunch. Every day. Every freaking day.

Crab-boy is much more adventurous. Stale blueberry bagel with butter. Open faced.

Then, it was a little forced school work (I have probably not said this yet, but I am a real jerk). Crab-girl did a timed multiplication test. Only missed one - 8*10=88 ("I though it was 8*11!!!"). Crab-boy had to read me a book (Drip-Drop - a classic). I read every other page, and helped with many word. We are hoping to get Crab-boy reading pretty well before the end of summer.

Next, a little work outside. Some digging to trench out a path for water to get away from the house. We have had a butt-load of rain lately, so we discovered that the trench that I dug before wasn't long enough. Mrs. Crab got a rain chain for her birthday (as one of our friends said - "you got your wife a gutter for her birthday???"), so it was good timing to do a little trench work. Crab-boy helped out a bit. He gathered a bunch of rocks and helped fill in the trench with rocks and gravel.

Mrs. Crab comes home. We all go outside. I mow the weeds. Literally - we have no grass, it is just weeds. The only thing I am really accomplishing is keeping the thistles at bay. I mowed around the garden a bit, which helped. Mrs. Crab did a little gardening. She has set up a great garden. We have all sorts of crap! I might have to actually start eating vegetables. Blerg.

Kids washed their bikes and sprayed each other off with well water (55 degrees!) Crab-boy shows me some great moves on his bike - he gets going, then stands up on his seat (holy sh*t!). I try not to scream at him. I try. The solution I come up with - "Well, if you don't mind falling off you bike and landing on your head, I guess you can do it...." - Crab-boy taps his helmet and says "that's why I wear this!" This is what he learns from his old man?

Dinner of chicken (organic, free range - as if the wife would let me buy anything else...), sugar snap peas (yes, locally grown), trader joe's baked beans (yes, organic), and lemonade (Ha! From concentrate!) Crab-girl eats the chicken (with ketchup), and tries the rest (miracle!). Crab-boy eats most. I eat the peas (another miracle).

Another miracle - I do the dishes after dinner. Mrs. Crab puts the kids to bed. Then, off to the store to get some brown sugar. Home, then make some cookies for camp tomorrow. Must have dessert in the lunch box. If you have to suffer through stale bagel in a lunch box, there better be a cookie. I make oatmeal chocolate chip. With a touch of peanut butter. That is some good crap.

Mrs. Crab comes down stairs and we finish the dishes. You may get the impression that we actually do the dishes a lot. Not true. Mrs. Crab does the dishes a lot. I dry them about 25% of the time. I am a poor excuse for a dish washing husband. But I make up for it in other ways. Trust me.

After dishes and other crap, we retire to the basement to play on our computers and watch a little Tour de France. I gotta say, this Tour sucks. I am not rooting for anyone, so I just watch and see what happens. It is not very much fun when you don't give a crap who wins. The sweat thing about this tour is that the two American teams are kicking ass. A word of advice about watching the Tour - TiVo it. Then watch the first 3/4 of the stage on fast forward - but watch closely for the crashes. Then, when the final climb or the final sprint takes place, watch in detail. I can't imagine watching the flat stages without TiVo. Holy crap would that be boring. The only reason the Tour has flat stages is really just to beat the crap out the bikers and soften them up for the mountains.

Well, Mrs. Crab already left the room, and went up to get ready for bed. With 2.5K to go. It's like she doesn't care who wins! I should have fast forwarded a little bit longer.

How many times does Paul Sherwin say "Completely and utterly" in the three weeks of the tour? Many, many times.

I am completely and utterly ready for bed.

Go Ricco.

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